November 19, 2005
"I'm a woman and I have a right to change my mind!"
I've been thinking a lot the last two days about the job I was offered this week, and it seems that I may be playing the, "I'm a woman and it's my right to change my mind" card. *lol* Life here in Egypt has been going along just fine without any added element potentially threatening to bring undue stress or strife into our lives, and thereby disrupting the balance of harmony we currently enjoy. I am perfectly content to be freely available and at the service of my husband and mother-in-law for whatever need they may have; I do it for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala – who is the Ultimate provider of all my needs, and upon whom I will continue to depend on to meet those needs, insha'Allah. My reward? The freedom of having the time to devote to my religion, and to taking care of my sisters; and to the writing that is a release for the boundless energy that leaps from my mind, through my fingers, onto my keyboard, and into the lives of the people I love for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And there could be no greater blessing than someday hearing that any one of my immediate family members (small though the circle may be), might come to know, love and embrace Islam, merely because they've followed my journey…and even if they couldn't see or find Islam anywhere else…at least they had an opportunity to find it here…and maybe that is the reason for the separation we endure today. May they always know how much I love them for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Ameen. I also recall the sadness and emptiness I felt at different times when life got in the way of my ability to actively participate in the care and nurturing of the sisters in the e-group (S4D), and the sense of guilt that came along with that…knowing they are waiting for me always…subhan'Allah. There is also the 7-hour time difference between Egypt and the U.S. to consider, and how altering my schedule to accommodate working outside of home would affect my communications with friends and family. My husband is more inclined to think that it is the idea of having to report for duty at 8:00 AM that would dissuade me from taking the position, given my life-long propensity for running behind schedule. *lol* While that is something I would have to confront, the fact of the matter is, that if we put our minds to what we want to do, we generally succeed in achieving what we desire. I happen to have a life-long track record for that, so the starting time for my workday is not a primary factor in this decision. Al-hamdulillah, tonight the need to find some little thing to push me over the edge of making a final decision was fulfilled through the entry a new visitor on the website left in the guest book. The guest book entry read: I like the way you write. You are committed to your topics, thorough yet witty (sometimes downright hilarious) and entertaining. Keep up the good work! You see...its things like that, that'll make a person think twice about doing anything other than what they really enjoy. What I do is for a greater good, and it affects the lives of others in a positive and constructive way for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. My husband is always saying, "Allah bless you, Aishah." What greater blessing could there be? So to my husband I say, "Thank you for your generosity in allowing me to feel free to pursue what I do best. May Allah reward you with the success you seek for doing that which you enjoy, as well. I love you for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala." ~Aishah